(or in more academic/nerdy terms: I have a BA in English & French Language and Literature and a BA in International Affairs/French and was in the middle of a masters in World History with a focus on Francophone post-colonial Africa when life in general got in the way. I am a critical theorist, so your examination and criticisms of literary topics really engage me.)
Such a wonderful essay Liza with such an important life lesson! One that I’ve been learning recently myself. It’s sounds like your Middle School experience was a formative period in your life. You were very set on snagging Rochester as your boyfriend and you felt like in order to win his approval you needed to dress and look a certain way to be acceptable to someone else. But you would come to the conclusion with the passing of time and you doing everything you were “supposed” to do and it going nowhere, that you would return to being yourself and just doing what came naturally to you. Ironically, this is when you caught Rochester’s attention. That’s when HE was the one to spend a ton of money, time and effort on YOU. Going to the trouble of putting up this fancy display with balloons and a cookie cake with prom spelled out in icing. You already had a date for the prom, had forgotten about him and had long since moved on. When all of a sudden he approached YOU. But it was too late, that ship had already sailed. You had options and could and did turn him down. If Rochester wanted to date you, he shouldn’t have waited so long and stayed silent. He should’ve just been direct and forthcoming and not caused to go through all that. But it all turned out for the best in the end. It turned out you didn’t need him and we’re worth a whole lot just as you were. The literary field from what you described here is the same way. Selfishness, backstabbing, arrogance, everyone trying to step on everyone else to be successful, etc. This is why it’s no wonder that you went the independent publishing route. You don’t want to have to, nor do you need to, win anyone else’s approval. You just need to be Liza and write the stories YOU want to write. Than the big publishing giants will seek you out. When the Lilac Room sells a million copies and earns the praise of people all across this nation, then the publishing houses and writers who turned you down or scoffed at you will seek YOU out, but by that time you’ll have plenty of options and can tell THEM no.
I will say, having been a young man myself once upon a time, we are frequently completely oblivious to the 'signals' young women insist on sending off.
Well, Ms. Libes puts stuff about how bad Marxism is for the arts and humanities on her blog...which, I should clarify, I 100% agree with, but given how cliquey and intensely left-wing publishing is these days (as she says, it's basically Mean Girls all over again) she's probably going to have to specifically seek out a conservative audience. Who, rather problematically, generally don't like to read literary fiction.
I suspect a lot of the libertarian/IDW/old-school liberal/'classical liberal' types might like her stuff. It's not a huge fraction but it might be a place to start.
Funny story. There's a larger life lesson here. Pay no attention to your detractors, stick to the guns of your vision, etc. Unfortunate reality check -- for most dreamers the tide never turns. An even larger lesson is that your desired recompense comes in unexpected forms, maybe even growth.
Ha! So … what happened to Rochester? Should he have taken to heart, “Hey, Jude?” How did his classmates treat him after such a display? How did you treat him after such a display? Have you become like Mr. Sohcahtoa? Or, the mean girls? Or, what do you do now, now that the mean girls, once again, rule your life?
Of course, none of this has anything to do your humorous essay, a masterpiece of sorts.
Last time I checked, Rochester turned into a pot head and got very fat. Little did he know that if he had liked me in the 7th grade, I could have saved him from his sad fate.
Charlotte the popular girl indeed became an actress. I think she is in some commercials now. So good for her!
It's always fascinating to read about romance and budding adulthood from a woman's perspective. Everyone these days seems so assured, so polished, so POSITIVE that's it's easy to forget that none of us are that far from those awkward creatures that we were in 7th grade.
We seem to prize the idea of vulnerability more than ever... but when was the last time you heard someone admit to feeling lonely or insecure or unattractive?
I'm writing this as a 38-year old man dealing with a large number of young women (through dating apps). I wish they were all as skillful at describing their personal evolutions as you are. I wish I could see the flawed and unique spark of humanity in each of them, as I do the character of this story. It was nice to read.
I regret to inform you that if you are a 38-year-old single man trying to get a younger woman, you are targeting the sort of woman who likes older men, and those sorts of women tend to be very superficial and won’t ever near the sort of reflection you are praising in this essay. Try dating someone your age if you prioritize unique spark and humanity :)
Funny, terrific essay! I lapped it up from start to finish. Thank you!
Liza -
Thanks for mentioning Mr. Sohcahtoa.
Brings back such fond high school memories.
But didn't you mean Chief Sohcahtoa?
(I always forget what tribe he headed. Was it the Navajo, the Cherokee, or the Sioux?)
Haha
The breadth of topics you cover always leaves me smiling
(or in more academic/nerdy terms: I have a BA in English & French Language and Literature and a BA in International Affairs/French and was in the middle of a masters in World History with a focus on Francophone post-colonial Africa when life in general got in the way. I am a critical theorist, so your examination and criticisms of literary topics really engage me.)
I’m cheering for you, Jane!
Such a wonderful essay Liza with such an important life lesson! One that I’ve been learning recently myself. It’s sounds like your Middle School experience was a formative period in your life. You were very set on snagging Rochester as your boyfriend and you felt like in order to win his approval you needed to dress and look a certain way to be acceptable to someone else. But you would come to the conclusion with the passing of time and you doing everything you were “supposed” to do and it going nowhere, that you would return to being yourself and just doing what came naturally to you. Ironically, this is when you caught Rochester’s attention. That’s when HE was the one to spend a ton of money, time and effort on YOU. Going to the trouble of putting up this fancy display with balloons and a cookie cake with prom spelled out in icing. You already had a date for the prom, had forgotten about him and had long since moved on. When all of a sudden he approached YOU. But it was too late, that ship had already sailed. You had options and could and did turn him down. If Rochester wanted to date you, he shouldn’t have waited so long and stayed silent. He should’ve just been direct and forthcoming and not caused to go through all that. But it all turned out for the best in the end. It turned out you didn’t need him and we’re worth a whole lot just as you were. The literary field from what you described here is the same way. Selfishness, backstabbing, arrogance, everyone trying to step on everyone else to be successful, etc. This is why it’s no wonder that you went the independent publishing route. You don’t want to have to, nor do you need to, win anyone else’s approval. You just need to be Liza and write the stories YOU want to write. Than the big publishing giants will seek you out. When the Lilac Room sells a million copies and earns the praise of people all across this nation, then the publishing houses and writers who turned you down or scoffed at you will seek YOU out, but by that time you’ll have plenty of options and can tell THEM no.
I will say, having been a young man myself once upon a time, we are frequently completely oblivious to the 'signals' young women insist on sending off.
Well, Ms. Libes puts stuff about how bad Marxism is for the arts and humanities on her blog...which, I should clarify, I 100% agree with, but given how cliquey and intensely left-wing publishing is these days (as she says, it's basically Mean Girls all over again) she's probably going to have to specifically seek out a conservative audience. Who, rather problematically, generally don't like to read literary fiction.
I suspect a lot of the libertarian/IDW/old-school liberal/'classical liberal' types might like her stuff. It's not a huge fraction but it might be a place to start.
Funny story. There's a larger life lesson here. Pay no attention to your detractors, stick to the guns of your vision, etc. Unfortunate reality check -- for most dreamers the tide never turns. An even larger lesson is that your desired recompense comes in unexpected forms, maybe even growth.
Ha! So … what happened to Rochester? Should he have taken to heart, “Hey, Jude?” How did his classmates treat him after such a display? How did you treat him after such a display? Have you become like Mr. Sohcahtoa? Or, the mean girls? Or, what do you do now, now that the mean girls, once again, rule your life?
Of course, none of this has anything to do your humorous essay, a masterpiece of sorts.
Last time I checked, Rochester turned into a pot head and got very fat. Little did he know that if he had liked me in the 7th grade, I could have saved him from his sad fate.
Charlotte the popular girl indeed became an actress. I think she is in some commercials now. So good for her!
Thank you for your kind words :)
It's always fascinating to read about romance and budding adulthood from a woman's perspective. Everyone these days seems so assured, so polished, so POSITIVE that's it's easy to forget that none of us are that far from those awkward creatures that we were in 7th grade.
We seem to prize the idea of vulnerability more than ever... but when was the last time you heard someone admit to feeling lonely or insecure or unattractive?
I'm writing this as a 38-year old man dealing with a large number of young women (through dating apps). I wish they were all as skillful at describing their personal evolutions as you are. I wish I could see the flawed and unique spark of humanity in each of them, as I do the character of this story. It was nice to read.
I regret to inform you that if you are a 38-year-old single man trying to get a younger woman, you are targeting the sort of woman who likes older men, and those sorts of women tend to be very superficial and won’t ever near the sort of reflection you are praising in this essay. Try dating someone your age if you prioritize unique spark and humanity :)